CHAPTER 13

Jared ushered them to another room with a little smile, “As soon as you gather the rest of your party.” He tossed the door opened and the two 
standing almost jumped. A new living room set and a vacation to Lorien! They had won the best prize ever! 

 Reunions. Hugs. Jared sees immediately which ones are couples. Gag. 

 He looked at Legolas and Arri’s close stance and Aragorns tender touches upon Arwen’s bloodied head. Elfin healing sucks. 

Aragorn and Legolas looked at the other not sure if it mattered to be established as couples or to reveal their true feelings for one another
 not but Aragorn looked to Arwen and smiled, “you will not make the talks. Thank Eru, because I’m sick of you. I need some space.” 

Arwen looked crestfallen but Eosin pushed forward, “I will stay with her. And I’ll only seduce her if I get really, really bored.” 

 They followed him to the great hall and down the corridor sans the numerous guards they had encountered earlier. They could finally look around
 the castle and take in some of the details, but they had better things to do, Like staring at Legolas and Arwannabe being in luff. 

  “What brings you to Loredell,” he smiled to them.

Aine sat straight, “You Tarzan fallen uncle and cousin.” Aine sighed, “with King Loreth’s death you cousin, me Jane, his son, William should 
have been successor but with his death you are believed to be next in line for this position?” 

“I am,” Giles squinted his eyes, “You have come for the coronation?” 

Gandalf spoke as every seemed to feel the uncomfortable silence, “There is another for the crown.” 

 “Really?” Giles swallowed uncomfortably, worried for Grammar and Capitalization, who didn’t seem to be doing too well in this fic, 
“who?” 

 Aine: I was married to the king-before-last, dude. You’re taking over for his son. 

 “You are Aine? That Aine? The one married to King Whosit’s daddy?” Giles looked as spooked as he felt. “you have no claim to the throne 
Aine.” 

“No, but my daughter did and did her off spring,” Aine offered producing more royal trinkets to verify her words. She was like a curio shop, 
but with fewer shelves. 

 “Well, your past tense is noted, so her dead offspring obviously don’t have much claim anymore either. William told me Livian 
passed some years ago,” Giles tried to hide his smile, “I have alos heard her spouse Thondas passed at Helm’s Keep, the tragic battle that 
never quite made it into the history books.”  

 “Arri is daughter of Thondas and Livian or Aine’ grandchild and her sister, by a strange time-travel accident that we won’t get into.” 
Gandalf almost enjoyed seeing Giles’s smiled wiped from his face. 

Giles: Wtf? She’s an elf, we’re humans. And oh yeah, I’m misogynistic, so a girl can’t rule either. But in more words. 

Aine: Tough. 

Giles: Fine. Marry a human and it’ll work. 

Gandalf: Nuh-uh. She’s entitled and we have shinies.

Giles: Grr.  

Leggy: Mirkwood says so. 

Aragorn: Gondor too. Arnor would, but the Suethor forgot about them.

Gandalf: Rivendell says so too. 

Gimli: The dwarves three. And we’ll say it with axes. 

 Giles looked at Arri and smiled, “she doesn’t even want the crown,” he almost laughed. “She is a scared rabbit.” Usagi Tsukino would like to 
point out that being a rabbit does not mean one does not want to be princess.  

 Arri’s eyes grew big and she knew Legolas was upset with this. He never supported her in her quest to be named Queen of 
SparklypooGlitter Land.  

 Aine: Arri takes the crown. 

 “She will have to be trained as a queen and if indeed she still wants the crown she may have it, and give us a Princess Diaries in Arda 
rip-off” Giles narrowed his eyes. He looked at Arri with such distaste, “She has not even spoke.” He snorted in the face of proper tenses, 
“she will never show the grace of a queen.” 

 Legolas narrowed his eyes, “She’s a sue, and she has been taught Elfin and human royalty.” I admit, Elfin and human royalty is a 
b**** to master. That second pirouette is murder. 

 “I dare not speak for having my words twisted by your necromancer,” She confronted him. Sabriel: I have nothing to do with this, Sue. 
“Was their reason that female elves were pushed into a dungeon?” 

Giles stammered and inaudible response, “I have a pointy-eared bondage fantasy, all right? fear you? I do not fear you?” Logic had left 
Giles’ head right about the time the Suethor stuck him in this badfic. 

Arri kept her grace giving very little emotion, “I spoke not of fear but since you have then why do you fear us?” Because Sues are frightening
 things. 

Aine worried knowing Arri’s passionate Sue nature and looked to Gandalf closely. 

 Arwannabe: I don’t wanna.

 Giles: *babble gibber* Not scared!

 Arwannabe: Behold, I’m calm and superior. 

 Aine: Oh dear. 

 Arwannabe: Gimme our weapons and show me sparkly magician. 

 Giles: Fine. You get two weeks here, Suebrat. Go rest, elfin biatches.

 Random guard: *eyes Arwannabe* Hey hottie. You elves hook up dontcha? 

 Legolas: *glower* 

Jared waved the other guard on and sighed as he showed them out of the room and he looked to Arri, “Sorry, not all people will be kind to elves 
blatant Mary Sues.”

 “You have not been unkind,” Aragorn noticed.  

“NO? That’s because I’m a Stu.” Jared smiled and looked to Arri and Aine, “a rightful heir would be better than Giles,” he sighed. “Word was 
he would push us into war with ourselves.” The others wondered what this ‘word’ would have been. 

Gimli scoffed, “crowns should go to the right person.” Gimli cleared his throat, “I thought Giles cousin had another name.” Dwarves know all 
about the royal families of SparkleypooGlitter Land. 

“Who William the Bloody?” Jared asked as he looked at Gimli evenly and he seemed eager to help them. 

Gandald (Gandalf had abandoned ship when the Suethor wasn’t looking) agreed, “His younger brother, Jareth. JARETH? Goblin King 
Jareth? I was just kidding about Arwannabe being Goblin Queen! Leave Labyrinth alone, Suethor! There were two sons of Loreth.” 

“Oh, yes,” Jared was taken back, “we tend to forget about him. There are far too many royals in Sparkleypoo to keep track of e
veryone.” 

Jared reveals there’s a “jinx on the crown.” And apparently no one has managed to find a new crown yet?  

“Many have died before taking it,” Jared sighed, “It is said we may never have a ruler. Except that we sort of have a ruler now, and we 
had a ruler before him, and then there was the guy who married Aine…” 

Snip. But you should know… the castle has 20 unoccupied guest rooms. We don’t know why. 

   Snip, Legolas and Arwannabe get some alone time. Trust me, the less said the better. She wasn’t wearing underwear. There, 
you happy? 

 Snip. Arwen can hear Leggy and Arwannabe. ICK. Poor Arwen. 

“Legolas and Arri?” Aragorn guessed remembering her keen elfin ears, which were like 174372 times better than elven ears. 

Snip. Arwen points out that Giles will want to keep the crown but the King of Gondor would help sort matters out. 

“I am not King yet,” he sighed, and remembered he needed to write in his diary. 

“The Fellowhsip made all aware of you and your heritage,” she smiled thinking of the Legend her love would always be. Arwen has foresight 
now… 

He nodded sure she was right, as long as they were highly respected and willing to stand by Arri Giles who had become one through the 
misplacement of a comma and an elfin mind meld would not contest but they could not stay there forever. “I hope it is not a battle of time.
 I hate when the Doctor shows up.”